Stepping out of my comfort zone.

    These past days have been full of new challenges for me. I've had to take on two new roles in my company and fill the shoes of some magnificent dancers. Now that I'm feeling a little more confident in my new setting, I'd like to share my journey of letting myself open to those new challenges and take you on a crash course of handling nerves step by step. 

Forever, since I can remember, I've freaked out in new environments, ones where I would be judged or have pressure put on me. I tense up, can't control the nervous energy in my body which leads to having complete black outs where I can't remember what's next, or before. As years went by, I knew I would have to take a hold of this with two hands if I was ever going to be able to reach my true potential and handle myself under pressure, as being a ballerina requires you to handle a lot of stress in order to perform at your best. My ego also liked to play tricks on me harming my self-esteem or feeding itself on exaggerated confidence. I wanted to learn how to tap into my true self in order to deliver the person I was without being jaded by false pretences.

First things first: I need to look inwards. I try to acknowledge what's happening, I take a step inside to analyse how my body feels: is my stomach in knots, do I have clammy hands, shortness of breath, am I sweating or shaking? I've learnt that if I disregard those physical attributes and try to block them, then I won't be able to realise how to control them. I used to try to ignore them, but I've found that that was wrong, as when dancing there is nothing to hide from your body, or along with those sensations of blocking fear you will also block and lose sensitivities you have practiced and require on stage. Once acknowledging the physical fear, I take steps to calm my nervous system. I like to reassure myself constantly in my mind that everything is exactly where I need it to be and then I send that thought around my body with fresh flowing deep oxygen. I have found it to soothe the fear symptoms. I then like to visualise what will happen next, by standing and dreaming of myself doing whatever I need to be doing in step-by-step order. Doing this I am still able to send the exact signals I need to the right muscles. If I can dream it, I can do it. 100% believing and trusting in my body is the key. A podcast from "Deliciously Ella" I recently listened to, "10 Ways to De-Stress Your Life", had the speaker 'Erin Zammett Ruddy", who wrote the book "Life Skills". She said that the way to walk into a room confidently is by precisely preparing your first line, knowing exactly what you're going to say as soon as you enter. I have found that I can transpose that into my dance. I think about what I want to say and what I want people to hear from my dance. In other words, how I want to be perceived. If I already know what people will experience from my dance, then there's nothing else to worry about. No one else matters.

It's of course so easy to plan how to handle nerves, but in practice it's a whole new ball game. I've had plenty of practice these days and, let me tell you: it's never easy. I have gone through the above tactics most weeks in my ballet career. It can be needed with such simple things as when my director is watching a rehearsal, or when I'm performing in front of my colleagues. Handling myself certainly is improving with age, but it's still on its way. I know that the only way to grow out of my comfort zone is putting myself out there and challenging my nervous system. Besides, shouldn't our comfort zone be limitless and  shouldn't we always be thinking of ways in which to enlarge it if we ever want to grow?

I've found a great little article about stepping out of the comfort zone and I'd like to share it here. It goes by a simple clear 10 steps, and you can find it on lifehack.org. It's written by "Cylon George, a spiritual chaplain and blogger who writes practical spiritual tips for busy people." 

I've copied and pasted the article underneath. All so obvious, but remembering it in that needed moment is perhaps another hurdle. 

"1. Become Aware of What’s Outside of Your Comfort Zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but, are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts but, your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become Clear About What You Are Aiming to Overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your look? Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get Comfortable with Discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See Failure as a Teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

5. Take Baby Steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

6. Hang out with Risk Takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. Almost inevitably, their influence will start to have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be Honest with Yourself When You Are Trying to Make Excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify How Stepping out Will Benefit You

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

9. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

10. Focus on the Fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Final Thoughts

It will seem really scary at first to get out of your comfort zone. But as I said, you don’t need to jump right out of your comfort zone at once, you can take baby steps gradually.

As you slowly push past your comfort zone, you’ll feel more and more at ease about the new stuff which seemed so dangerous to you.

Take the first step and I’m sure you’ll make it!"

    

Back to us, I wonder how many of you have tried some of the above. How do you deal with nerves and stepping out of your bubble? I'd love to hear some more tips to give it a try. That goes along with my last point I've found to help, which is by watching and sharing with others. It's sometimes easy to see and to understand, if you take an observant non-judgeful view, that everyone has their own struggles, and that the only way to get by is by taking on an empathic consideration towards everyone around you. This way, your supportive energy can help to uplift not only them but also yourself. There's no denying that it feels great to boost people around you. 

"Leap of faith" by Silas Stubbs.