Creating art in a time of suffering.

It was exactly two years ago that my first choreographic piece was premiered. Now I look back on the work, through these stunning images taken by Heikki Leis, and revisit my process and mental state at that time which led me to create and manifest my ideas through dance.

I worked with eight inspiring dancers to choreograph a short work about a subject which I felt was extremely topical at the time and is still relevant today. That subject was domestic violence. My aim was to raise awareness, but I realised it was also driven from somewhere more personal. At the time I was going in and out, and in again a toxic relationship.

I found it easy to translate my message into dance, working mostly in my tiny 23 sq m apartment, the ideas, movements and steps came at the speed of a rocket. Then I found exactly the right music, I could visualise what each dancer would dance on each phrase. In my imagination I could see patterns forming across the stage, it was like water filling a container, it fitted precisely.

At the time there was a great deal trending online on the subject, and I read a lot of it. I also wrote about my personal feelings. My aim was to get a clear idea of what people were thinking, I knew what I felt. It was a mix of emotions; hate, denial, disbelief, surrender, anger and yet often back to love. In the dance I depicted eight emotions that one could feel when being a victim of domestic violence, using physical gestures to state them through the dancers uniting, then each one gained the courage to separate from the group and tell their own story.

I wanted the dancers to be empowered, so I worked with them one by one to create a moment on stage where they could be entirely themselves. It was a very special time for me.

As a dancer myself I would normally be competing with these girls for parts, now I was standing in front of them and doing all I could to make them feel beautiful and confident. I was immensely proud of them, I knew everyone as a fellow dancer, now with a new perspective I saw everything and everyone in a new light. Today, if I feel I am comparing myself to my colleagues I go back to that time and remember how I felt. To see them completely as they are in the new light I created, and after I fill with warmth.

Naturally, the piece was called '#Metoo'. But for me the meaning of that changed when I created that piece. It was no longer; "me too, I'm a victim", it was; "me too, I deserve more than this."

If you have a curiosity to see all the girls that made this possible. You can visit the Instagram of this blog here https://www.instagram.com/whatsthepointe_blog/